Love and Pain
by Klutzygirl33
Summary: Following Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things, Sam wants to leave because he thinks Dean hates him and doesn't love him anymore. Then he's kidnapped by something supernatural.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

Sam Winchester had been devastated by his father's death, but he refused to tell his brother that. He didn't want to bother Dean anymore.

Dean had been hurting him a lot since John's death. "It's your fault Mom died," Dean told Sam at one point. Sam had bolted to the bathroom after Dean said that and cried himself to sleep in the bathtub. It had always been a habit of his. When Samuel Matthew Winchester couldn't handle something, he would always bolt to the bathtub. He'd stay in there for a few days.

When Sam and Dean had fought about the faith healer incident and left Nebraska, Dean had gone out for two days to let the steam out. Sam thought Dean was leaving him, especially after what had happened in the asylum. He had retreated to the **Bathtub of Safety **as Jim Murphy had dubbed it once. Dean and John could never get Sam to come out. He would come out on his own. The amount of pain that Sam was feeling would determine how many days he stayed in a bathtub. His shortest time in the tub had lasted six hours. His longest time in the tub had lasted five days.

After the incident with the faith and the reaper, Sam had stayed in the tub for four days. When Dean, who had told him time and time again that Mary's death wasn't his fault, had said that it was Sam's fault that she had died, Sam had spent six days in the tub. Dean telling him had come only a few days after he had been punched. He had apologized for telling Sam that it was his fault about Mary's death, so Sam had finally left the safety of the bathroom.

Sam was planning on leaving. After Dean had told him about his feelings of guilt about John's death, Sam knew it was his fault. He didn't want to be hurt anymore, and he definitely didn't want to hurt Dean. Sam still remembered that final fight he had with his father over Dean, and Sam wished he was dead instead of John. He was going to Virginia because he was in West Virginia and that was just easier. He just wondered whether Dean would care or not. He doubted that because he knew Dean hated him and didn't love him anymore.

He would soon find out that what he thought his brother felt were wrong, but he wouldn't find out until he had been hurt badly.

TBC

* * *

I'm new and still trying to figure out how to indent. This is my first Supernatural story and it's been in my head since Everybody Loves A Clown. Can anyone tell me how to indent? I seriously can't figure it out.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean Andrew Winchester was tired and depressed. Unfortunately, he was taking it out on his younger brother.

He really didn't mean to, but all he seemed to do lately was hurt Sammy. He knew about Sammy and the bathtub thing, but he didn't care when he snapped and told his brother it was his fault about Mary's death.

He didn't know about the last fight Sammy and John had. He probably would have been angrier at his brother if he found out what had happened.

Dean just wished that his brother would stop bothering him about his grief. Dean was dealing with enough on his plate, and his brother was just annoying him.

John's death had devastated Dean, but it had also made him angry. Why did John have to die for him? Why couldn't he have let Dean die? Sam didn't seem to understand that. Sammy was being selfish and only wanted to deal with his grief in his own way.

Dean had always hated it when Sam retreated to a bathtub. He usually ended up yelling at his brother to get out, but it never worked. "He's just dealing with things in his own way," John told an eleven year old Dean when a seven year old Sam retreated to the bathtub because of his pet hamster dying.

Dean loved his brother, but he just wished that things were different. When he feeling really low, he even wished Sam had died instead of John or Mary. He immediately felt guilty afterwards, but he was past the point of caring.

Dean just wished that he was normal, and he resented Sam for the fact that he got normal for four years. He also resented Sam for the fact that he never said anything when he had started crying over John dying for him.

Unfortunately, Dean would come to regret the fact that he was no longer paying attention to his younger brother. Things were about to get bad.

Very, very bad.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Sam had everything planned out. He was going to leave in the middle of the night, so Dean wouldn't find out until morning. _Not like he cares anyway, _thought Sam as he cried against the hotel wall. Dean was out at a bar, and Sam was all alone.

When Sam was alone, he always cried over his father's death against the wall. It was easier. He just had to pretend that he hadn't been crying when Dean finally came back.

Deep down, Sam thought he was suffering from clinical depression. It wouldn't surprise anyone. He had slowly been falling apart since Jessica's death.

Sam didn't know what he was going to do once he left. He'd probably still hunt, because that's all he had left. _Uncle Bobby will probably be on Dean's side_, Sam thought. He knew that Bobby would take Dean's side because everyone took Dean's side. Whenever Sam and Dean fought, which was few and far between, someone had always taken Dean's side. That's what it seemed like to Sam anyway.

A lot of things were his fault. His mom and dad's deaths were his fault, as was Jessica's death. He knew that Dean didn't really blame him for his mom's death. They had been fighting shortly after the "too little, too late" incident (which hurt so bad, even now) and Sam had provoked his brother into saying that it was his fault that Mary had died. It still didn't hurt any less though. Sam knew that Dean probably still blamed him for the asylum, which was his fault. Sam still had nightmares about that night.

He was also to blame for Dean leaving him on the side of the road during that one fight they had. Dean had called him a bad son then. Sam had been thinking it for a long time now, so it had hurt when Dean had said it.

Whenever Sam was really upset, Dean usually cried with him. It just happened. John had come in one day after Sam had been hurt by a bully. He had been crying hysterically, and Dean was crying with him because he wouldn't calm down. Another thing Dean did when he was really upset was to comfort him and refer to him as "Baby", as in baby brother. Sam loved it when his brother called him that.

Sam had been sad to learn that Dean resented him about Stanford when he had been hurt by the shapeshifter. He had suspected it before, but it still hurt to have it confirmed.

Sam sighed and looked at his watch. It was midnight, and he spontaneously decided to leave before Dean got back from the bar. Like the past week, Dean probably wouldn't get back until around 3:00AM. Sam shifted his broken arm and got up. He got his stuff and walked to the door. He looked around for a minute. "I'll miss you big brother," Sam whispered to nobody in the room.

He opened up the door and came face to face with the very creature he and Dean were supposed to be hunting.


	4. Dean Returns

When Dean returned to the hotel, it was around 3:00. He was surprised to see Sam's bags lying around and his bed empty.

He sighed angrily. He guessed Sam had taken off again. Typical Sam, always bolting when things got too tough. He was so angry that he didn't even feel sadness.

The first thing he did was check the bathroom, because Sam could have retreated there like he always did when things got bad.

When he came out of the bathroom, he noticed the note.

_Dear Deanie Beanie (I know you hate that nickname, but I don't' care)_

_ I've decided to leave. It's the best thing for us. I love you, but I know you don't love me anymore. I know you hate me. I know you started resenting me after I left for Stanford, started hating me after the asylum, and stopped loving me after Daddy died. Everything hurts so much and I don't know how to deal with it all, Deanie Beanie. You remember I started calling you that when I was three? I still want to use it sometimes, and I guess this is one of those times. Please don't try to find me. I know you will try to, but I'm not even sure if you want to. I know this is the best thing. Remember that I love you. That's the most important thing. You've been more of a dad to me than Dad. You know when I was a teenager that I almost slipped several times and called you Dad? That's why I had to leave. You would have hated me calling you Dad. I never should have gone to Stanford. It was the worst mistake I ever made._

_ Sincerely, Sammy Winchester. _

Dean rolled his eyes at the letter because Sam always had to get chick-flicky when things got bad.

He resolved to go look for his brother in the morning when he wasn't so tired. That's when he remembered that Sam's bags were still over by the door.

He went to go over to turn the light off and investigate when he found the blood. Shock rooted him to the spot, because this was bad. This was exactly what had happened to the victims of the hunt they were on.

Dean still sighed dramatically. Trust it to Sammy to get kidnapped by the thing they were hunting. Sammy was a magnet for kidnapping. Growing up, Sam had been kidnapped twice a year from the time he was two until he was eighteen and left for Stanford. Not including the thing with the Benders, the vampires, and now, Sam had been kidnapped a total of thirty-two times.

That's when Dean noticed that there was tons of blood on the hotel room floor and that could mean that Sammy was in trouble.

He had some rescuing to do, whether he liked it or not. He just hoped his younger brother wasn't dead.


	5. Sam Wakes Up

When Sam woke up, he immediately recognized the amount of pain he was in. He groaned.

"Why are you doing this to me," Sam demanded of the monster that was encircling him. "You deserve to die, Hunter Winchester," the Lalod demon told him. "Why do I deserve to die," Sam asked, even though he wished he was dying. His non-broken arm was now broken, which was really crappy. How was he supposed to feed himself with two broken arms? "Everyone deserves to die," the demon explained. "Especially one who kills their mother." "How do you know that," Sam asked, groaning as he saw that he had several cuts.

"I see everything," the demon explained. "You will feel a lot of pain before you die, because that's why you deserve." "You know your brother wants you dead."

"My brother hates me, but he doesn't want me to die," Sam whispered. Sam wasn't sure about that though. He had been feeling lately that Dean did want to be dead. Sam sometimes wished he had died instead of his mother or Jess. Sometimes he wished that he had slipped into the coma and had a Reaper after him instead of Dean.

"Your brother thinks that you're a burden," the demon told Sam. "He hates you so much that he doesn't even care that you've been kidnapped." "You're lying," Sam whispered angrily as the pain ripped through him again and he slipped into unconsciousness.

Back at the hotel, Dean was panicking. "Bobby, we need to find him," Dean screamed into the phone. "Stop yelling at me,you idjit," Bobby told him. "We'll find your brother." "You just have to calm down." "I'll be there as soon as I can". Dean sighed. "I know you will Bobby." "I just don't want anything happen to the kid because he's my responsibility and Dad would kill me if anything happened to him." "Is that all you're thinking about," Bobby asked. "What are you talking about," Dean said. "I'm talking about the way you've been treating your little brother," Bobby yelled.

Sam woke up to pain and he was screaming. The demon was twisting his leg, as if it wanted to break it. The demon succeeded and the leg broke only a few seconds after Sam woke up.

"Please stop," Sam begged. "You're going to wish I had killed you first," the demon told him. Its hot breath was in Sam's face. "I'll let you rest for now, but don't underestimate me." "I can't go anywhere," Sam cried. "I have two broken arms and a broken leg". "It hurts so much."

Dean was going crazy. It had been three hours since he had returned to the hotel and he was impatiently waiting for Bobby. It was going to take Bobby nearly a day to get to Virginia, and Dean wasn't sure he could wait that long.

Sam woke up again to excruciating pain. The demon was standing next to him. "What do you want now," Sam asked. "Nothing, Hunter Winchester". "I just want you to remember that nothing is going to be easy." "I'm going to tell that you are about to be joined by someone else." For good measure, he broke Sam's other leg before leaving wherever he had taken Sam. He left Sam screaming in pain once again.

Things were very, very bad.


	6. Dean Finally Starts To Feel Guilty

Sam was in a lot of pain. He had two broken arms and a broken leg, and he was definitely nauseated. He had never experienced pain quite like this before, not even after the car accident with the semi.

Dean was still waiting for Bobby. Bobby had left six hours ago, and Dean really needed him. He had gone out and tried to look for his brother, but had to return to the hotel. He had re-read Sam's letter and guilt was starting to seep in.

When the demon returned for Sam, he was already wishing he was dead. He had spit up some blood a few minutes earlier, and had realized he was suffering from eternal bleeding. Normally, that thought would have made him panic. Now he was just numb. He hoped that his brother was looking for him.

Bobby Singer was speeding to Dean. Upon getting the call about Sam being kidnapped again, he wasn't expecting it. He knew the boys had been fighting lately.

"Stop hurting me," Sam moaned when the demon came extremely close. "Afraid I can't do that," the demon said. "I'm going to give your brother forty-eight hours to get here". "I'll heal you the internal bleeding slightly, but that's it". "Be thankful for this, Hunter Winchester". Sam would have laughed, but he was in too much pain.

Dean sighed in relief when Bobby pulled up five hours later. He had gone out to look for Sam, but still hadn't found it. He had actually considered going to the police again, just like with the Benders, but didn't want to risk anything.

Sam was feeling a little better after the internal bleeding healed, but he was still miserable. "Why do you keep doing this to me," Sam asked. "You will not ask anymore questions," the demon told him. "You are not in a position to ask questions or I will hurt you again."

"I'm so glad you're here," Dean told Bobby. "I can't find him anywhere." "What we need to do is to look for anything that isn't abandoned." "I'm pretty sure the hunt you were here for is called a Lalod." Dean laughed at the name, but stopped when Bobby glared at him. "Stop being an ijdit, Dean Andrew Winchester," he scolded. Dean rolled his eyes at the use of his full name, but still paid attention to Bobby.

"The Lalod demon gives you a specific amount of time to find your loved one before it kills them," Bobby explained. "No one knows the exact time, so it's best we find your brother now." Dean nodded.

Sam was tired. He wished he could slip into unconsciousness again, but that wasn't working. A few minutes earlier, an unconscious teenager had been brought in. The demon had been right when it said that someone would soon be joining Sam.

He wanted Dean to find him. Dean would take care of him. All Sam wanted now was a hospital. A hospital was a wonderful place with drugs that Sam could take that would make him numb.

Unfortunately, Sam would come to regret the fact that he wasn't unconscious.

Dean would come to regret that he hadn't been paying attention to his brother.

Things were about to get even worse for the Winchester brothers.


	7. Sam Meets Brian And Gets Hurt Yet Again

Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here

Disclaimer: I don't own anybody here. The show belongs to Eric Kripke and the CW. (I forgot this in the previous chapters.)

Dean had re-read the letter that Sammy had written, but realized that it wasn't in his handwriting. It looked really weird. Bobby had mentioned earlier that the Lalod demons were really, really sappy when they kidnapped someone.

Dean was now feeling really guilty. He couldn't believe when he had been thinking about his brother. No wonder Sammy had packed up to leave. John had told Dean to take care of his brother, and he had messed that up.

"What are you doing back here," Sam asked the demon.

"Stop asking questions," the Lalod demon replied angrily.

Sam didn't expect that demon to come up and break three out of his five fingers on his newly broken arm. He winced, but refused to scream.

"You are being brave, Hunter Winchester". "That is not wise".

"My brother's coming to get me," Sam told the demon. "He may hate me, but he'll still get me."

The demon laughed at the hunter's audacity and walked out of the room.

"How do we kill this demon," Dean asked Bobby.

"You stab it through the heart with a sword," Bobby answered. "Luckily, I brought one with me."

Dean seemed happy at the idea of using a sword.

As soon as the demon left, the unconscious teenager woke up.

"Who are you," Sam asked him.

"My name is Brian Thomas," the teenager answered. "Where are we at?"

Sam would have shrugged, but it hurt too much. "I'm not sure, Brian." "Don't worry, because my big brother will save us."

Brian just stared at Sam and rolled his eyes. "Didn't you just say that your brother hated you," Brian asked.

"How do you know that," Sam wondered.

"Because I was pretending to be unconscious," Brian answered.

Something seemed really wrong with Brian, but Sam wasn't sure what.

He would later come to regret the fact that he thought something was wrong with Brian.


	8. Something Shocking Happens

Sam was exhausted and in excruciating pain. He really hoped he would be saved soon or that he would die.

"How are you feeling," Sam asked Brian.

"Stop asking me that," Brian snapped.

"What's your problem," Sam asked him.

"I've been kidnapped with somebody annoying," Brian answered.

Sam just glared at him.

Brian was getting on his nerves. You would think that he would want to be saved.

"We need to figure out a way to kill the demon," Sam explained.

"We can't kill it," Brian cried. "This thing is going to kill us." "It's probably invincible or something."

Something was up with Brian, and Sam couldn't figure out what.

The demon returned.

"Hello, Hunter Winchester." "I see that you're met my other prisoner".

"Stop talking," Sam cried. "You're not doing anything but hurting me."

"I will not deal with your insolence," answered the demon.

It slammed Sam's head against the wall hard.

The last thing Sam saw before he slipped into unconsciousness was Brian's eyes turning yellow.


	9. Dean Rescues Sam

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.

**Dean Rides to the Rescue**

When Sam awoke, he still remembered that Brian's eyes had been yellow. He came face to face with The Demon.

"What do you want with me," Sam cried.

"You're my favorite, Kiddo. I need you to lead my army. Unfortunately, the demon has laid a claim on you. I can't take you until the deadline for Dean to save you has passed."

"I'd rather die than join your army," Sam spat.

"Oh, Sammy. Do you really think that I'm going to just let you die? The demon healed your internal injuries on my command."

"Go back to where you belong," Sam spat.

"Do you want me to kill him," the demon asked Azazel.

Azazel rolled his eyes. "Go away for now, you stupid fool." The demon left, complaining the entire time.

"My brother will kill you," Sam told Azazel.

"I'd like to see him try. I got the Colt and your daddy's soul. What does he have?"

"He knows exorcisms," Sam pointed out. Azazel laughed.

"Do you think an exorcism is going to stop me? Nothing can stop me. I've been in existence for many millenniums."

"We'll find a way to kill you," Sam promised. Azazel rolled his eyes.

"I'm getting tired of the death threats, kiddo."

"You're going to hearing them for awhile," Sam taunted.

"I am sick and tired of this," Azazel complained. Like with Dean back at the cabin a few weeks ago, he telekinetically started to kill Sam from inside.

Sam screamed in pain as blood ran in rivulets down his chest.

"Please stop," he begged.

"Poor Sammy wants me to stop and I won't," Azazel mocked.

Bobby and Dean burst through the door and Bobby shot the demon in the back with rock salt.

Azazel lost his grip on Sam, while Dean bolted over to his brother.

"Hey, little brother. How are you feeling?"

"Hurts," Sam gasped.

"I know it does, baby brother. Bobby and I are going to take you to the hospital."

Bobby began chanting an exorcism as Sam continued to bleed.

"Baby, I need you to stay awake," Dean told his brother.

"It hurts," Sam whined.

"I know it does. You can't fall asleep."

To Dean's horror, Sam didn't listen.

In fact, he stopped breathing completely.

TBC


	10. The End

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

**Will Sammy Be Saved?**

A sobbing Dean immediately began to perform CPR while Bobby finished the exorcism. Azazel exited Brian's body and left in black smoke.

Bobby pulled the sobbing Dean off of Sammy and began to perform the CPR himself. Dean was too hysterical to do anything. Dean and Bobby had killed the other demon on their way in. Brian was dead, had been dead before Azazel had possessed three weeks earlier after a car accident that had killed the teenager instantly. No one knew that Brian had been killed in the accident, because Azazel had successfully imitated him. They just thought Brian had been lucky.

Both Bobby and Dean sobbed in relief when Sammy's chest began rising and falling apart. Bobby called 911 while a sobbing Dean held his unconscious brother's hand.

The ambulance arrived ten minutes later. Bobby spun a story about being a police officer in California, and had come to look for his nephew because his other nephew didn't trust anyone else to find his brother. When Bobby found him, the kidnapper was nowhere to be found and Brian was already.

The paramedics seemed to accept the lie, and the trip to the hospital took five minutes. It seemed like hours to Dean, who had finally calmed down.

Sammy was quickly rushed off for tests and most likely surgery. Dean and Bobby sat in the waiting room. For this hospital trip, Sam was known as Samuel DeYoung.

About two hours after Sammy was rushed to the hospital, a doctor came out. "Family of Samuel DeYoung?" he called.

"He's my brother, Dean said. What's wrong with him?"

Mr. DeYoung, your brother has multiple injuries. His kidnapper was very brutal. Samuel has a concussion, a broken arm, his previous injury from the other arm has also caused the arm to re-break, several bruises and cuts, and several internal injuries. We are sending him into surgery, and seeing where we go from here. I am also still concerned about the fact that he stopped breathing before you called the ambulance. Things may be touch and go."

Dean nodded and held back a sob. The doctor left and Dean's knees buckled. Bobby caught him and led him over to one of the uncomfortable chairs.

"I don't know what I'm going to do if he dies," Dean sobs.

"If he dies and that's a big if, you'll come stay with me," Bobby promised. Dean nodded and held back another sob.

"I was so mean to him earlier," he confessed.

"You were having problem dealing with John's death, Bobby comforted him. These things just hurt and you took it on the nearest person."

"But I shouldn't have, Dean cried. I made him think that I hated him and didn't love him anymore. I need to fix this when he wakes up. He's my little brother. I raised him and I know him better than anyone. Why didn't I see this?"

"Sometimes you miss out on the important things when you're grieving," Bobby explained.

Dean and Bobby sat in the uncomfortable chairs for eight hours while they waited for news about Sam. Dean was going crazy, but he planned everything out on how to set Sam straight and ask for his forgiveness. Dean really hoped it worked.

The doctor finally came out. "Family of Samuel DeYoung?"

"That's me," Dean said.

"Your brother required a few surgeries, the doctor explained. We were most worried about his internal injuries, so we fixed those first. Samuel flat lined once during surgery, but we were able to bring him back. Because of both broken arms and the broken leg, your brother will require physical therapy. He will also need to be in a wheelchair for awhile."

"Will he recover," Dean asked.

"There is a small chance he might not recover, but that's a very small chance," the doctor explained. Dean nodded.

"When can I see my brother?"

"Your brother is currently in the recovery room, but he should be in the ICU in a few hours. The ICU is just a precaution because of him flat lining and his internal injuries."

Bobby and Dean waited impatiently for another three hours, when Sam was allowed into his room in the ICU.

Sam was unconscious for two days, but the doctors explained it was because of the surgery and the trauma he had endured.

In those two days, it was learned that Brian had died from blunt force trauma to the head. The medical examiner attributed that to the kidnapper bashing his head against the wall, but it actually had been from the steering wheel in the accident that had killed him three weeks earlier.

Brian's parents actually thanked Bobby for finding their son. "Brian" had disappeared a week after the accident, and nobody knew where he had gone.

At 4:30 in the afternoon of the second day, Sammy Winchester's eyes finally opened.

"Hey kiddo," Dean said to his brother.

"Yellow Eyed Demon?" asked the panicked Winchester.

"Exorcised," Dean explained.

"Where'd Bobby go?"

"He's in the cafeteria, flirting with a worker."

Sam laughed, but then immediately winced.

"Kiddo, we need to talk about some things."

"I'm too tired," Sam whined, but Dean could see that his brother was trying to avoid the conversation.

"We'll talk tomorrow," Dean warned.

But they didn't talk the next day. Poor Sammy came down with an infection related to his injuries, and had to fight that off for the next week.

By the time that he was better, Sam had completely forgotten about the conversation he had to have with his brother.

Dean didn't forget, however.

"We need to talk," Dean told his brother.

"What about," Sam asked.

"The fact that you think I hate you and don't love you anymore, baby," Dean answered.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sam lied.

"I know you're lying," Dean warned.

Sam sighed. "Dean, you don't have to pretend anymore. I know you feel that way. I've screwed up so much in twenty-three years, and I've screwed up even more since Dad died."

"Samuel, those are my issues," Dean corrected.

"You're not denying it," Sam said.

"You're not letting me explain," Dean pointed out.

Sam shut up and Dean started to talk.

"I never blamed you for going to Stanford. I was proud of you because you wanted to make it on your own. I knew you and Dad didn't get along well. I also never placed blame on you for the asylum, our fight, or the Reaper either. At the asylum, Ellicott played with your emotions. I baited you into that fight on the road by calling you a bad son. And you're not a bad son, kiddo. You just hurt me with your comment about not knowing how it feels about someone close to you dying, so I wanted to hurt you back. And the Reaper? You were desperate, baby. I was mad, but I never blamed you for that. As for Dad's death? I was angry. I didn't know how to deal with things. I took it out on you when I shouldn't have. Don't ever think I hated you. I never could hate you. And stop thinking I don't love you anymore. I will _always _love you, Sammy. You're the most important person in my life."

Sam choked back some tears. "I love you too, big brother."

"Good, because don't expect me to say it again."

Sam rolled his eyes, but laughed.

Things were finally okay with the Winchester brothers and Sam was well on his way to recovery. They were still grieving their father, but they knew they'd get through it together.

That's what family was for, and Sam knew he was never going to lose his brother.

* * *

And that's end of my first multi-chapter fic. Before I joined here, I could never end stories. It was there weird thing where I kept going and going. I end this Angel fic 90 pages and I was nowhere near the end. Start reading "Denial" and my other Supernatural fics.


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